Thank you for choosing the Nowhere Inn!
Established at some uncertain point between 1800 and yesterday, our adventuring founder, only recorded as “N.W.”, started this hotel in hopes of attracting high-end clientele. This did not work. With the Inn’s location near our town’s famous tourist trap Scylla’s Diner and infamous literal tourist trap Charybdis’ Cavern Experience, the Inn instead attracted a different type of clientele. An odder, more adventurous kind.
But as any hospitality professional would, our partially-named founder welcomed all. Every strange, odd guest was accommodated the best Nowhere Inn could. As the Inn’s reputation grew some were brought on as helping hands and staff, albeit only making this place stranger. We embrace all our guests be they fluffy, scaled, crepuscular, nocturnal, cold-blooded, warm-blooded, hot-blooded, bright, camouflaged, sparkly, or shiny. So we please ask you to look but don’t stare.
And please note as of 1981 we have stopped attempting to address noise complaints regarding the sounds droning from the basement or echoing from the woods. At this point these are outside our staff’s ability to mend. But of course, you are welcome to venture down or outside and join them if you wish. Many have.
We don’t know how you got here either. But thanks for staying with The Nowhere Inn.
- Management
